The Dirigible Balloon
Poetry for Children

Wee Bathroom Spider

Porcelain is not the thing for you,
wee bathroom spider.

And your persistence in performing
eight-legged running man dances

up this sheer white bath tub
under the gaze of our pet cat,

flexing its tail on this toilet seat,
is definitely not advisable.

Before the hairs on your feet
develop greater stickability

and you are able to climb unharmed,
I fear you will become terribly broken.

So here I am at 7:30 in the morning,

making toilet paper ladders,

before I can shower in peace
and the furry purry assassin,

so beloved in our household,
can be persuaded out of the bathroom

to wander off and find
something else to squash instead.



This poem first appeared in The Toy magazine

About the Writer


Jonathan Humble

Jonathan lives in Cumbria. His work has been published online and in print in a number of magazines and anthologies. His first collection of poetry (My Camel's Name Is Brian) is available through TMB Books and Maytree Press published a further collection (Fledge) in 2020. His poems for children have been shortlisted and highly commended in the Caterpillar and Yorkmix poetry competitions and he is the editor of The Dirigible Balloon.