Waking Up in Strange Places

I’ve woken up in many places
Some odd, some quite bizarre:
The kitchen floor, the local store
My next door neighbour’s car

The spa, the park, the cinema
in supermarket aisles
Beneath a slide, a carriage ride
On top of laundry piles

The London Eye and Ting Tong Thai
Outside of Boots, in Greggs
Amongst balloons and macaroons
Amid dad-dancing legs

At carvery roasts, on soggy toast
By donkeys in the sand
On boating lakes, The Duck and Drake
The gates of Disneyland

Upon the loo, at Chester zoo
Just past the chimpanzees
By parrots eating carrots
On top of ladies knees

In cafes, bars and seminars
In pelvic yoga class
At swimming pools, my sister’s school
At my baptism mass

Just yesterday I fell asleep
On beanbags back at home
but woke to be surrounded by
some garden centre gnomes

But I’m not crazy, super-lazy
I bet you’ve guessed, well maybe
that all these places where I woke
was when I was baby