Waking Up in Strange Places
I’ve woken up in many places
Some odd, some quite bizarre:
The kitchen floor, the local store
My next door neighbour’s car
The spa, the park, the cinema
in supermarket aisles
Beneath a slide, a carriage ride
On top of laundry piles
The London Eye and Ting Tong Thai
Outside of Boots, in Greggs
Amongst balloons and macaroons
Amid dad-dancing legs
At carvery roasts, on soggy toast
By donkeys in the sand
On boating lakes, The Duck and Drake
The gates of Disneyland
Upon the loo, at Chester zoo
Just past the chimpanzees
By parrots eating carrots
On top of ladies knees
In cafes, bars and seminars
In pelvic yoga class
At swimming pools, my sister’s school
At my baptism mass
Just yesterday I fell asleep
On beanbags back at home
but woke to be surrounded by
some garden centre gnomes
But I’m not crazy, super-lazy
I bet you’ve guessed, well maybe
that all these places where I woke
was when I was baby
Some odd, some quite bizarre:
The kitchen floor, the local store
My next door neighbour’s car
The spa, the park, the cinema
in supermarket aisles
Beneath a slide, a carriage ride
On top of laundry piles
The London Eye and Ting Tong Thai
Outside of Boots, in Greggs
Amongst balloons and macaroons
Amid dad-dancing legs
At carvery roasts, on soggy toast
By donkeys in the sand
On boating lakes, The Duck and Drake
The gates of Disneyland
Upon the loo, at Chester zoo
Just past the chimpanzees
By parrots eating carrots
On top of ladies knees
In cafes, bars and seminars
In pelvic yoga class
At swimming pools, my sister’s school
At my baptism mass
Just yesterday I fell asleep
On beanbags back at home
but woke to be surrounded by
some garden centre gnomes
But I’m not crazy, super-lazy
I bet you’ve guessed, well maybe
that all these places where I woke
was when I was baby
This poem is copyright (©) Mark Bird 2024
About the Writer
Mark Bird
Mark lives in London but is originally from Uttoxeter, Staffordshire. He is a teacher and children's writer. He has been published in Brian Moses' recent anthology: The Best Ever Book of Funny Poems as well as by Gill Education and The Caterpillar Magazine. His poem, “Halloween Date from Hell” is due to be published by Ventorros Press in 2022 and will be illustrated by Chris White. Mark has his own blog and website: www.dreambeastpoems.com