The World's Worst Baker
Listen to Elizabeth reading her poem ...
Wibbly wobbly trifle,
wibbly wobbly cake,
the only thing that's not wobbly's
the jelly I'm trying to make!
My jelly's as hard as a brick wall.
It wobbles as much as a rock!
I broke half my teeth on my jelly;
the tooth fairy's in for a shock!
My custard's as thick as mature cheese,
my cheese is as runny as water.
My Grandmother said she'd disown me
if I wasn't her only granddaughter!
She says I'm the world worst baker,
she says I'm the world's worst cook.
She tells me the difference between salt and sugar
and gives me a withering look.
Granny, you don't appreciate me
so I'm leaving for somewhere they will.
I'm taking my jelly to a building site
where cement mixers are needing filled!
wibbly wobbly cake,
the only thing that's not wobbly's
the jelly I'm trying to make!
My jelly's as hard as a brick wall.
It wobbles as much as a rock!
I broke half my teeth on my jelly;
the tooth fairy's in for a shock!
My custard's as thick as mature cheese,
my cheese is as runny as water.
My Grandmother said she'd disown me
if I wasn't her only granddaughter!
She says I'm the world worst baker,
she says I'm the world's worst cook.
She tells me the difference between salt and sugar
and gives me a withering look.
Granny, you don't appreciate me
so I'm leaving for somewhere they will.
I'm taking my jelly to a building site
where cement mixers are needing filled!
This poem is copyright (©) Elizabeth McGeown 2024
About the Writer
Elizabeth McGeown
Elizabeth is a Pushcart nominated poet from Belfast in Northern Ireland. She has been published in journals including Banshee, Abridged and Riggwelter. She won the Cúirt International Festival of Literature: Spoken Word Platform 2019 and the Cursed Murphy Spoken Word Prize 2019. In 2021 she was longlisted as 'Best Spoken Word Performer' in the Saboteur Awards. Her first poetry collection will be published by Verve Poetry Press in 2022
