The Terrifying Tour Guide
In 2023, marine scientists captured strange footage of an orange Maori octopus riding on the head of a shortfin mako shark. What were the creatures doing? Where were they going? Nobody knew, until one intrepid poet-journalist tracked down the octopus involved. This is her story:An octopus dreams
of a holiday too.
I get sick of the sand.
I get bored of the blue.
So with tentacles tense
and desire to de-stress,
I purchased a seat
on the Mako Express.
I boarded the beast
in the deep ocean dark
so was blind to the fact
that my ride was a shark.
He felt streamlined and smooth
and the legroom had space
for my ample requirements.
We set off at pace!
I first had an inkling
that left me faint-hearted
when fish on our path
in a flash had departed.
On edge in my seat
I tried reaching beneath
and found, not my luggage,
but row,
upon row,
upon row
of sharp TEETH!
Well shiver-me-suckers!
I burbled a scream.
The shark said, “Calm down, mate!
I too have a dream!”
“Of a snack-topus supper?”
I boldly replied
but the shark said, “To be
the best undersea guide!”
“Let me show you the sights!
You’ll be dazzled and wowed!
And the tours are all yours
‘cause I scare off a crowd!”
So he showed me the seas,
all spectacular seven.
I give him five stars -
it was holiday heaven.
of a holiday too.
I get sick of the sand.
I get bored of the blue.
So with tentacles tense
and desire to de-stress,
I purchased a seat
on the Mako Express.
I boarded the beast
in the deep ocean dark
so was blind to the fact
that my ride was a shark.
He felt streamlined and smooth
and the legroom had space
for my ample requirements.
We set off at pace!
I first had an inkling
that left me faint-hearted
when fish on our path
in a flash had departed.
On edge in my seat
I tried reaching beneath
and found, not my luggage,
but row,
upon row,
upon row
of sharp TEETH!
Well shiver-me-suckers!
I burbled a scream.
The shark said, “Calm down, mate!
I too have a dream!”
“Of a snack-topus supper?”
I boldly replied
but the shark said, “To be
the best undersea guide!”
“Let me show you the sights!
You’ll be dazzled and wowed!
And the tours are all yours
‘cause I scare off a crowd!”
So he showed me the seas,
all spectacular seven.
I give him five stars -
it was holiday heaven.
This poem is copyright (©) Rebecca Loveday 2025
About the Writer
Rebecca Loveday
Rebecca is an emerging children’s poet from Portsmouth, England. She loves writing in rhyme and storytelling through poetry. Rebecca also works in a nursery where she supports children with additional needs. She lives by the sea in a house filled with interestingly-shaped pebbles and too many notebooks.
