The Incredible Iron Bat

I’m Lego Hulk, (but with Iron Man’s belly and Batman’s legs).
I’m a Jedi going to battle with a juiceless lightsabre,
cos I forgot to switch it off again at bedtime.
I’m a can’t find my other shoe, kind of kid.
Dad’s always saying I’m a few pieces short of a jigsaw.
I bet they’re under my bed, beside the itchy, red
woolly jumper Gran got me. I’ll probably find them
when I’m looking for that other shoe,
while Mum’s yelling, You’ll be late for school!

But I’ve had enough of everyone calling me scatty.
I’m fed up hearing, Your cereal’s gone soggy!
If you don’t hurry, your toast will be in the doggy!
I’ve decided on this sunny spring morning
to command more respect around this place.
So here I am in the kitchen, before breakfast making
has begun. Uniform on, top button buttoned,
hair combed, backpack packed, ready to go.
Oh! And shoes on both feet, with laces in a bow.

I can tell Dad’s impressed, standing there dressed
in his dressing gown and slippers,
but before he can say so, I climb up on a chair,
look him straight in the face, raise my glowing lightsabre,
and declare, I demand more respect around this place!

Okay son, he says, but today is Saturday.