Sir Roger and the Witch

Sir Roger was a knight of old with armour, shield and sword,
Sworn to guarding all the lands of one pretentious lord.
For dragons roamed the countryside and something even worse:
A wicked witch named Minnie known to cast a dreadful curse.

But Roger had a secret, one his lord would find appalling,
Sir Roger wasn’t brave at all when danger came a-calling.
He’d shiver in his boots at shadows lurking in the trees,
And thoughts of fiery dragons brought Sir Roger to his knees,

One winter’s day, while wandering, he came across a hut,
The chimney puffed, the lights were lit, and all the drapes were shut.
The rain was teeming down and Roger needed somewhere dry,
So, he knocked upon the door (though he was feeling rather shy).

The door was promptly opened and out came a cloud of stink,
A foul and putrid odour that made Roger gasp and blink.
He heard a purr and spied a kitten, black as coal and skinny,
While someone stood beyond the door and said, “Hello, I’m Minnie.”

Sir Roger gulped and shook. The frightful, wicked witch was here!
Then thunder cracked and Roger screamed and fainted from the fear.
Minutes later, Roger woke up lying on a bed,
“Hello, sir knight, remember me? You fainted,” Minnie said.

Roger gasped and spied a pot of something boiling hot,
He knew the soup was dangerous (though hoped that it was not).
Minnie blushed and waved her spoon and said, “Come! Take a look!
I promise you, I’m not a witch …
I’m just an awful cook.”

Roger frowned and snorted at the stench (it was so vile),
But saw that Minnie spoke the truth and gave a little smile.
“I happen to be quite the chef,” he said, with quiet pride,
But then a mighty roar was heard from somewhere near outside.

The kitten hissed and Roger shrieked and Minnie said “Dear knight,
The mighty dragon Balaroth is looking for a fight.”
She seized his sword and hastened out, a scream upon her breath,
While Roger stayed and told the cat, “She’s gone to meet her death.”

The clouds were lit with fire and the air was rent with roars.
But Roger stayed inside the hut and trembled on all fours.
His armour was unused, his shield lay useless on the ground,
While sounds of battle echoed from the skies and all around.

Then … silence. All was calm.
And then, Sir Roger heard a knock,
Then Minnie burst in through the door while Roger stood in shock,
Minnie laughed and bragged, “There’s not a foe I can’t defeat,”
Then pointed to the pot and said, “I’m hungry, what’s to eat?”

Now, Minnie is a knight who roams the land with sword and axe,
While Roger stays behind and cooks the meals and makes the snacks.
The kitten’s nice and plump, there’s no more eating scraps (or worse),
But best of all, the land is safe from…
Minnie’s cooking curse.