The Dirigible Balloon
Poetry for Children

SMART Granny

My Granny is SMART —
too smart for Alexa,
who thinks like a robot,
so Granny corrects her.

My Granny’s half metal:
detectors bleep BLEEP her.
She waves like the queen
as the palace guards sweep her.

Her glasses are screens
that she wears on each eye
to make sure she sees
when a prince strolls nearby…

I’m cheeky and sneaky
but Granny is bolder!
YOU shouldn’t be here, ma’am.
Why not? No-one told her!

My Granny goes vrrrroOOOM
till her battery’s flat
as she races us home.
Can your Granny do that?

My Granny stores memories
(her head’s in the Cloud).
She has wires in her ears
to make whisperings LOUD.

My Granny takes snaps
on her HUGE mobile phone,
and she video-chats
so she’s never alone.

My Granny has lain
under ten surgeons’ knives,
but she trades in the pain
for steel bones and nine lives —

and when Granny shuts down
they press HEART to restart her.
My Granny won’t die.
My Granny is smarter.

About the Writer

Catherine Olver

Catherine is a writer and researcher in children’s literature at the University of Cambridge. She has a special interest in how literature can help humans respect nature, but she loves reading, writing, and teaching poetry on all topics. Some of her other poems have been published in the Emma Press anthologies of Love and Kings and Queens and in The Goose journal.