The Dirigible Balloon
Poetry for Children

Pet Allergies

Simon Fairbanks

Daddy, dear?
Yes, Louise?
Can we get a pet, pretty please?
No, Louise,
Stop your pleas,
You know I have pet allergies.
What about a puppy called Ortiz?
Just a little dog, like a Pekingese?
No, Louise,
No Pekingese.
Dog hair makes me sniff and sneeze.
Then how about a kitten called Hafiz?
A sleek and slender Siamese?
No, Louise,
No Siamese.
Fur makes me cough and wheeze.
Well then, perhaps a bird called Aziz?
I’ve always liked yellow canaries.
No, Louise,
No canaries.
Feathers make me retch and seize.
Surely, I can have a fish called Denize?
Better yet, a whole school of guppies?
No, Louise,
No guppies.
The smell stings my eyes worse than bees.
Daddy, please,
I’m down on my knees!
Won’t you appease your darling Louise?
No, Louise!
Sorry to displease,
But pets carry fleas and vile disease,
And they all wreak havoc with my allergies.
But –
Freeze, Louise!
No more, please!
I’ll ask Mummy if she agrees …

About the Writer

Simon Fairbanks

Simon is a fantasy author living in Birmingham. He's self-published several novels and short story collections, including a choose-your-own-adventure novel. Simon's stories are published or forthcoming in Popshot, Firewords, Parakeet, VAINE and Paper Lanterns. He is co-chair of the Birmingham Writers' Group and enjoys giving talks at literary events, such as the UK Ghost Story Festival. Beyond writing, he enjoys reading, running and singing the Encanto soundtrack with his children.