My Daddy Shaved the Cactus

My Daddy shaved the cactus,
When no-one else was home,
Took out his brush and razor
And slathered it in foam.

He wrapped it in a hot towel,
To open up its pores,
Then to minimise the mess he'd make
He carried it outdoors.

He put it on the decking,
And reclined it in a chair,
Then SCRAPE! SCRAPE! SCRAPE! shaved off the spikes
As if they were fine hair.

My mummy loved our cactus,
So her face was all appalled,
When she walked out to the garden
And saw that it was bald!

Daddy tried to reason,
Tried to justify the trim,
But his chances of forgiveness
Were looking rather slim.

We all gazed at the cactus,
That could once pop any bubble,
But instead of its big spiky beard
We just saw bright green stubble.

He told us not to worry,
But the scene was quite macabre,
Our plant was the first victim
Of my dad, the cactus barber!