Misbehaving Matilda
Listen to Linda ...
Misbehaving Matilda’s out for lunch.
A holiday treat! A family munch!
Catching a dose of misbehaving bug,
She stretches patience with a testing tug.
Matilda’s easy to spot, not to stop:
Crawling under tables, tickling bare toes;
Waitress weaving, untying pinny bows;
Elephantine sneezing, bottom blast breezing;
Tomato squeezing, baby brother teasing;
Whinging, whining, humming like bumble bees;
Taking aim, precision pinging spare peas;
Fast-flying serviette jet aeroplanes;
Sampling bloated guests’ sweet pudding remains;
Frog leaping with force, clip-clopping like a horse;
War painting frowned faces with chocolate sauce;
Menu rips, record-breaking toilet trips;
Floor art with chips, big broccoli backflips!
What stops these impish, misbehaving ways?
Not the guests’ fearsome ‘eat you for lunch’ gaze,
No, not the manager’s mean, monstrous glares,
Nor auntie’s ‘stop embarrassing me’ stares,
Or mum’s ‘wait ‘til I get you home’ dagger eyes,
Or Lily labradoodle’s raised brow sighs…
But a sign: Kiss naughty goodbye -
Misbehaving children are made into pies!
A holiday treat! A family munch!
Catching a dose of misbehaving bug,
She stretches patience with a testing tug.
Matilda’s easy to spot, not to stop:
Crawling under tables, tickling bare toes;
Waitress weaving, untying pinny bows;
Elephantine sneezing, bottom blast breezing;
Tomato squeezing, baby brother teasing;
Whinging, whining, humming like bumble bees;
Taking aim, precision pinging spare peas;
Fast-flying serviette jet aeroplanes;
Sampling bloated guests’ sweet pudding remains;
Frog leaping with force, clip-clopping like a horse;
War painting frowned faces with chocolate sauce;
Menu rips, record-breaking toilet trips;
Floor art with chips, big broccoli backflips!
What stops these impish, misbehaving ways?
Not the guests’ fearsome ‘eat you for lunch’ gaze,
No, not the manager’s mean, monstrous glares,
Nor auntie’s ‘stop embarrassing me’ stares,
Or mum’s ‘wait ‘til I get you home’ dagger eyes,
Or Lily labradoodle’s raised brow sighs…
But a sign: Kiss naughty goodbye -
Misbehaving children are made into pies!
This poem is copyright (©) Linda Middleton 2024
About the Writer
Linda Middleton
Linda is a lifelong lover of writing and began sharing her passion for rhythm and rhyme last year. Her work can be found online and in magazines, including The Caterpillar and Pure in Heart Stories. She enjoys supporting children with their learning and teaching RE in a primary school in a leafy corner of England. In her spare time when she is not writing, she can be found wood wandering, beach strolling and ice cream tasting.
