I do not Understand my Dog
Listen to Jonathan reading his poem ...
I do not understand my dog;![Arthur the Dog x]()
he is a mystery.
I can’t see what attracts him to
the trunk of every tree.
He’s super keen when in the park
to find the biggest stick
and finds grass so delicious that
he’ll eat it till he’s sick.
He’d chase the squirrels if I didn’t
teach him to be good
or wallow in the darkest dike;
get clarted up with mud.
He loves to finds a cow pat
which he uses like cologne
then messes up the garden
just by burying his bone.
He thinks the postman’s tasty
and my dog has one main aim:
to bite the poor man on the bum
then bark like it’s a game.
My lovely slippers have been chewed
and are a soggy mess;
they used to be so comfy
but are ruined, more or less.
My dog will stand and stare and drool
when I sit down to eat
and if I should ignore him
he will dribble on my feet.
I have to say that if I made
a list of stuff he’d done,
the negatives would be quite long,
the positives, just one …
For in the end despite his faults
his saving grace would be
that I just love my dog to bits.
Oh yes … and he loves me.
Arthur the Dog x
he is a mystery.
I can’t see what attracts him to
the trunk of every tree.
He’s super keen when in the park
to find the biggest stick
and finds grass so delicious that
he’ll eat it till he’s sick.
He’d chase the squirrels if I didn’t
teach him to be good
or wallow in the darkest dike;
get clarted up with mud.
He loves to finds a cow pat
which he uses like cologne
then messes up the garden
just by burying his bone.
He thinks the postman’s tasty
and my dog has one main aim:
to bite the poor man on the bum
then bark like it’s a game.
My lovely slippers have been chewed
and are a soggy mess;
they used to be so comfy
but are ruined, more or less.
My dog will stand and stare and drool
when I sit down to eat
and if I should ignore him
he will dribble on my feet.
I have to say that if I made
a list of stuff he’d done,
the negatives would be quite long,
the positives, just one …
For in the end despite his faults
his saving grace would be
that I just love my dog to bits.
Oh yes … and he loves me.
This poem is copyright (©) Jonathan Humble 2023
About the Writer
Jonathan Humble
Jonathan lives in Cumbria. His work has been published online and in print in a number of magazines and anthologies. His first collection of poetry, My Camel's Name Is Brian, was published by TMB Books in 2015. His second poetry book, Fledge came out in 2020 through Maytree Press, but is no longer available. His poems for children have been shortlisted and highly commended in the Caterpillar and Yorkmix poetry competitions and he is the editor of The Dirigible Balloon. His poem Masterclass was chosen as the Milk House Poem of the year at the end of 2022.
