The Dirigible Balloon
Poetry for Children

I Took a Selfie with The Loch Ness Monster

I saw the Loch Ness Monster through an eerie morning mist,
I said "It's you! the legend's true, you really do exist!"
By kind reply he said "Och aye, I'm real enough alright,
but 'cause I'm shy I always try to stay way out of sight,

and just today I'd love to play, so bring a rubber ring,
it's best I think so you don't sink if you should stumble in"
I hopped aboard and off we soared across the loch serene,
just like the swimming pool at school but cold, without chlorine

He towed with ease my water skis across the murky waters,
where we'd exceed torpedo speed without the need for motors,
then when he stopped I bunny hopped across his shiny humps,
the bumps were damp and made great ramps for somersaults and jumps

I paraglided oh so high while fastened to his fin,
I swear I spied the Isle of Skye as he began to swim,
then perched aboard my bodyboard I surfed his wicked wake
while water crashed and splashed us as we dashed across the lake

I held on fast until at last I clambered up his flipper,
then head to tail slid down his scales just like a wet Big Dipper
We played some more then made the shore and by the peaty path,
he grabbed my phone and said "Why don't we have a photograph?"

We both leaned in and with his fin he held the selfie stick,
the camera clicked and in a tick he'd took the perfect pic'
'cause though his photo's always oh so blurred and black and white,
the one you'll see of him and me is really clear and bright

Through the lens two new best friends can easily be seen,
smiling wide beside the tide into the camera screen
I should confess, stood by Loch Ness we're quite a frightful sight,
he's all scaly, fairly scary ... that's me on the right

He said goodbye and asked if I might visit him again,
then shook my hand upon the sand beneath the highland rain
He left the shore but just before the dinosaur went home
he gave a roar! ... and so once more the loch was still as stone

My mates all state my picture's fake, they say there's just no way
I sailed away with Nessie and we played in Urquhart Bay,
but I was there and I can swear it happened nonetheless,
I took myself a selfie with the monster from Loch Ness

Picture is copyright (©) Mark Millicent 2022
Picture is copyright (©) Mark Millicent 2022

About the Writer

Dale Neal

Dale has been published online and in print. You will find his work in The Best Ever Book of Funny Poems (Pan Macmillan), My Socks have gone Bonkers (Fantastic Books Publishing), Watcher of the Skies (Emma Press), Guest on the Farm and How to Follow Your Dream (Little Stories: Bedtime Books storytelling app.). He has two children's picture books (My Grandad is an Alien and The Dinosaur and Me) being published in 2022 with Ventorros Press.