Homework
Dear teacher, I’ve a tale to tell
so strange it has no parallel:
for as I made my way to school,
avoiding kids who act the fool,
I had my finished homework done
inside a folder, when someone
just knocked me flat and off she ran;
this highly muscled jogging gran!
My homework sailed into the air,
to land upon the main road where
a tank parade ran over it,
until the folder seemed to split
and all the paper flew around.
Then into view from underground
emerged a plague of rabbits who
began to give the sheets a chew.
They munched the paper to a pulp
and swallowed it in one big gulp.
Despite my wails of great dismay,
they ate the lot and hopped away …
I’m right confused and in a daze
before your disbelieving gaze.
It sounds bizarre, it sound untrue,
but would your student lie to you?
So, though my homework’s done, you know
dear teacher, I have none to show.
so strange it has no parallel:
for as I made my way to school,
avoiding kids who act the fool,
I had my finished homework done
inside a folder, when someone
just knocked me flat and off she ran;
this highly muscled jogging gran!
My homework sailed into the air,
to land upon the main road where
a tank parade ran over it,
until the folder seemed to split
and all the paper flew around.
Then into view from underground
emerged a plague of rabbits who
began to give the sheets a chew.
They munched the paper to a pulp
and swallowed it in one big gulp.
Despite my wails of great dismay,
they ate the lot and hopped away …
I’m right confused and in a daze
before your disbelieving gaze.
It sounds bizarre, it sound untrue,
but would your student lie to you?
So, though my homework’s done, you know
dear teacher, I have none to show.
This poem is copyright (©) Jonathan Humble 2024
About the Writer
Jonathan Humble
Jonathan lives in Cumbria. His work has been published online and in print in a number of magazines and anthologies. His first collection of poetry, My Camel's Name Is Brian, was published by TMB Books in 2015. His second poetry book, Fledge came out in 2020 through Maytree Press. His poems for children have been shortlisted and highly commended in the Caterpillar and Yorkmix poetry competitions and he is the editor of The Dirigible Balloon. His poems Masterclass and This Work is Done were chosen as the Milk House Poem of the Year at the end of 2022 and 2023.
