Dandelion Dean
Dandelion Dean is a dentist,
A dentist who isn’t the best,
A dentist, in fact, who always comes last
In the ‘Who Is The Best Dentist?’ test.
She doesn’t like being polite,
She doesn’t like following rules,
She doesn’t like adults or children,
She doesn’t like standardised tools,
She loves fixing fillings with hammers,
She loves hearing ulcers go POP,
She loves saying, “This will be painful,”
She loves it when patients cry, “STOP!”
But while she may sound like a nightmare,
Careless, and reckless, and mean,
You never forget to brush twice a day
When your dentist is Dandelion Dean.
A dentist who isn’t the best,
A dentist, in fact, who always comes last
In the ‘Who Is The Best Dentist?’ test.
She doesn’t like being polite,
She doesn’t like following rules,
She doesn’t like adults or children,
She doesn’t like standardised tools,
She loves fixing fillings with hammers,
She loves hearing ulcers go POP,
She loves saying, “This will be painful,”
She loves it when patients cry, “STOP!”
But while she may sound like a nightmare,
Careless, and reckless, and mean,
You never forget to brush twice a day
When your dentist is Dandelion Dean.
This poem is copyright (©) Jonathan Sellars 2026
About the Writer
Jonathan Sellars
Jonathan lives in Greenwich, England. He is severely obsessed with writing poems, primarily ones that rhyme. His work has featured in The Caterpillar and Parakeet magazine and his first picture book, Polly Plum: Brave Adventurer, comes out in Spring 2022. He has two small children, neither of whom can read or write poetry. He's not worried about that. Yet.
