The Dirigible Balloon
Poetry for Children

Big Name

When I was born two months too soon
As small and wrinkled as a prune
My father’s eyes beheld my size
And claimed me as his greatest prize
“He might be small, but that’s okay
On this fine day above all days
I’ll make his name exceed what he weighs—
Willoughby Walter Ignacio Hayes.”

A name ten syllables in all
Worked magic in a kid so small.
It seemed to give me special powers—
I grew a foot in six short hours.
The doctors gazed upon my plight
Of much too quickly gaining height
“We fear his name is not quite right.
It must be changed this very night!”

At first my Dad would not comply
He begged the staff to let it lie.
But when I grew to three foot eight
He acquiesced—we could not wait.
“His name, I see, has made him grow
Alarmingly, like yeasted dough.
So even though it brings me woe
I’ll change his name to make growth slow.”

“To keep him safe, I’ll take away
The Willoughby, the Walter Hayes.
Ignacio, I fear, must go
Though truthfully I love it so.”
The doctors’ faces showed their frowns.
“Get on with it! Don’t mess around.
Your son is huge; he’s gaining pounds.
His skin is stretching out of bounds.”

The message finally sank in deep
My dear old dad began to weep
He sighed and cried out in despair
And breathed a prayer into the air.
But I, by then, had such physique
My vocal cords had learned to speak.
“Okay,” I said, all soft and meek,
“We’ll find a name that’s short and sweet.”

I overlooked their gapes of shock
That one so young had learned to talk.
There was no time to stew or wait
When facing such a swift growth rate.
“All right, let’s all be chill,” I said.
“No need to fret or shake your heads.
I’ve got your back; I’ll stop your dread.
From here on out just call me Ed.”

About the Writer


Jenny Mattern

Jenny is an author, a fledgling poet, and a cake-for-breakfast enthusiast. She is active in the writing community on Twitter/X, where she co-founded Middle Grade Hub, a growing, supportive community of well over 100 middle grade authors.