A Letter FROM Father Christmas

Each year many millions of letters
Arrive in great sacks at my door,
And it takes me a week to climb up to the top
Of the mountain they make on the floor,

I read every one, I note every wish,
It takes quite a while but I do,
Then me and my elves do the best that we can
To make all those wishes come true,

But…

You wouldn’t believe the requests I receive,
The wishes that some children make,

I’ve been asked for a ghost that will only haunt cheese,
For a two-hundred-metre-long snake,
For a tree made of soup,
For a sabre-toothed shark,
For four unicorn nose hairs that glow in the dark,
For a sausage that flies,
For a bottom that talks,
For an active volcano that does funny walks,
For alien snot,
For a shed on the moon,
And a thumb-sized baboon that can play the bassoon,

These impossible things are too hard to deliver,
And that’s why I’m writing to plead,
This Christmas don’t wish for the things that you want,
Just wish for the things that you need.